If I Ran the World

Things would certainly be different, that's for sure. I occured to me, after reading about all of the hubbub at the various Airports concerning body scanning and patdowns, that there was a way to put a POSITIVE spin upon this rather unpleasant experience. My brilliant insight just happens to come from years and years of reading comic books.

For example, if they hired some REALLY attractive men, I'm sure that quite a large number of ladies wouldn't object too strenuously to being body searched. The same could probably be said, if you hired attractive young ladies to do the same patdowns for the men. If you were to dress them up in skintight superhero comics, you'd have a line forming VOLUNTARILY to undergo this procedure!

Seriously, who wouldn't want to be checked out by Power Girl for smuggled explosives?

I've already explained by theory that we could wipe out crime by legalizing drugs...but only making them available through your Motor Vehicle department. Standing in line with other surly people, all clutching scads of obscure paperwork...it's just not worth the trouble to get high.

In that vein, I'd like to propose a way to wipe out our national debt...tomorrow! In states that still have executions...put them out there on Pay-Per-View! BUT, not just any sort of execution. Lethal injections are pretty dull, you would have to liven things up, by only using Comic Book Villain Death Traps! Giant Wedding cakes filled with quicksand, or flaming pits of boiling lava, mechanical cockroaches...there are all KINDS of truly spectacular ways to get snuffed...and provide entertainment at the same time!

I don't know if I'm being brilliant, or if my blood sugar is just low.